You don't have to keep working so hard to prove your're good enough.
Therapy for adults struggling with anxiety, overthinking, and low self-esteem.
Self-Esteem Therapy in Surrey, BC
Online therapy across Ontario & BC
Aïda Retta
(she/her)
Registered Psychotherapist &
Registered Clinical Counsellor
RCC, RP
Low self-esteem isn’t always obvious
Does this feel familiar?
You can seem capable and still struggle deeply.
You might do well at work, show up reliably in relationships, and seem like someone who has it together. Other people may see you as competent, caring, thoughtful, or confident.
But privately, things can feel very different. You might replay conversations in your head, question your decisions, struggle to believe compliments, or feel like you are never quite enough no matter how much you do.
For many people, low self-esteem shows up less as “looking insecure” and more as a quiet, relentless pressure underneath: to get it right, not disappoint anyone, and not be too much.
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Book a Free 30-min ConsultationYou are not broken
These patterns often make sense in the context of your history.
Low self-esteem usually doesn’t appear out of nowhere. Many people develop self-doubt in relationships or environments where approval, safety, or connection felt conditional.
Maybe you learned to be careful. Maybe you learned to stay agreeable. Maybe being “easy,” helpful, or self-critical helped you avoid conflict, criticism, or disconnection.
At some point, these patterns may have helped you adapt. But what once helped you get through can eventually become the thing that keeps you stuck.
“I should be easier to deal with.”
“I’m too much.”
“I need to be better.”
Therapy can help you understand these patterns with compassion instead of shame, while also supporting you in changing the ways they show up in your life now.
The cost of carrying this
Low self-esteem can quietly shape how you live, relate, and make decisions.
It might affect your relationships, your work, your boundaries, or your ability to feel settled in yourself. You may find yourself over-functioning, apologizing, avoiding conflict, or constantly looking to others to know if you’re okay.
- Holding back your needs because you don’t want to be a burden
- Overthinking texts, tone, facial expressions, or small changes in someone’s mood
- Feeling responsible for other people’s feelings
- Staying quiet to keep the peace
- Feeling guilty when you rest, say no, or choose yourself
- Trying to prove your worth by being useful, agreeable, or impressive
Over time, this can become exhausting. Not because you’re weak, but because you’ve been carrying so much internally while still trying to look okay on the outside.
What could change
Imagine feeling more at home in yourself.
Therapy is not about becoming a different person. It’s about having more room to be yourself without constantly bracing for rejection, criticism, or disappointment.
These changes usually happen gradually. But over time, many people begin to feel less ruled by their inner critic and more connected to their own voice, needs, and worth.
Why therapy can help
When insight isn’t enough
In my experience, insight alone does not always make it easier to respond differently in the moments that matter most.
Real change often asks for more than understanding.
Even when you know you want to speak up, you might still quiet yourself to avoid conflict.
Even when the evidence suggests otherwise, you might still struggle with the feeling that you are not quite good enough.
Even when everything in your body is saying no, you might still say yes.
These responses are often adaptations — ways of coping that took shape automatically in response to the relationships and environments you had to navigate. Over time, they can become deeply ingrained in both mind and body.
In other words, knowing what we should do doesn’t always make it easier to actually do it.
Rather than working only at the level of insight, therapy can offer a space to practice showing up more fully as yourself, while being supported through the discomfort, anxiety, and vulnerability that can come with change.
What we might work on
How self-esteem therapy can help
Together, we can slow things down enough to understand what is happening beneath the surface: the inner critic, the anxiety, the people-pleasing, the guilt, and the old patterns that make it hard to trust yourself.
Therapy may include exploring where these patterns came from, noticing how they show up in your body and relationships, and practicing new ways of responding that feel more honest and sustainable.
- Understanding your inner critic without letting it run your life
- Building self-trust and emotional steadiness
- Practicing boundaries without overwhelming guilt
- Working through shame and chronic self-doubt
- Learning to express needs, feelings, and preferences more openly
- Developing a kinder and more secure relationship with yourself
Meet Aïda
A relational approach to self-esteem therapy
I’m Aïda Retta (she/her), a Registered Psychotherapist and Registered Clinical Counsellor. I work with adults who are struggling with low self-esteem, self-doubt, people-pleasing, anxiety, boundaries, and relationship patterns.
My approach is collaborative, relational, trauma-informed, and paced with care. We won’t just talk about what you “should” do differently. We’ll explore why these patterns have felt so hard to change, and support you in building new experiences of self-trust, safety, and authenticity.
Learn more about meQuestions about self-esteem therapy
Frequently asked questions
Can therapy help with low self-esteem?
Yes. Therapy can help you understand where self-doubt and shame come from, notice how they show up in your life, and begin building a more compassionate and secure relationship with yourself.
What if I’ve felt this way for years?
Many people come to therapy after carrying these patterns for a long time. Change can still happen, but it often takes patience, consistency, and a space where your nervous system can begin to experience something different.
Is low self-esteem connected to anxiety or people-pleasing?
Often, yes. Low self-esteem can show up as overthinking, fear of disappointing others, difficulty setting boundaries, reassurance-seeking, perfectionism, and people-pleasing.
Do you offer online self-esteem therapy?
Yes. I offer in-person therapy in Surrey, BC, and online therapy across British Columbia and Ontario.
What happens during a free consultation?
A consultation is a low-pressure 30-minute call where we talk about what has been going on, what you’re hoping for, and whether working together feels like a good fit.
You don’t have to keep earning your worth.
If you’re tired of living with self-doubt, guilt, and a harsh inner critic, therapy can be a place to begin relating to yourself with more steadiness, honesty, and care.
Book a Free 30-min ConsultationIn-person self-esteem therapy in Surrey, BC. Online therapy across Ontario and British Columbia.