Self-Esteem Counselling

Therapy for low self-worth, shame, self-doubt, and the inner critic.

If you struggle with self-esteem, it may not always look obvious from the outside.

You might be competent. Thoughtful. Hardworking.
People may rely on you.

And yet internally, there’s self-doubt.
A harsh inner critic.
A persistent feeling that you’re not quite enough.

Low self-worth can be quiet and relentless. It can shape your relationships, your career decisions, and the way you speak to yourself when no one else is listening.

Self-esteem counselling offers a space to understand where that voice came from — and how to begin relating to yourself differently.

What Low Self-Worth Often Looks Like

Low self-esteem isn’t just low confidence.

It can show up as:

Overthinking everything you say
Replaying conversations afterward
Difficulty receiving compliments
People-pleasing or avoiding conflict
Feeling behind in life
Perfectionism that never feels satisfying
Comparing yourself constantly
A deep sense of shame when you make mistakes

Many people assume self-doubt means they need to “try harder.”
But often, it’s rooted in earlier relational experiences — environments where love, approval, or safety felt conditional.

What once helped you adapt may now be keeping you stuck.

The Inner Critic & Shame

Most people I work with can identify an internal voice that is far more critical than they would ever be with someone they love.

It might say:

“You should be better than this.”
“Don’t mess this up.”
“You’re too much.”
“You’re not enough.”
“If they really knew you, they’d leave.”

Over time, that voice can feel like truth.

Underneath it is often shame — not just “I made a mistake,” but “Something is wrong with me.”

In therapy, we don’t try to silence or fight that voice aggressively. Instead, we get curious about it.
Where did it develop?
What was it trying to protect you from?
What does it fear would happen if it stepped back?

When we approach the inner critic with understanding rather than force, change becomes possible.

How I Approach Self-Esteem Therapy

Self-esteem counselling in my practice is relational and experiential — not just cognitive.

Depending on your needs, we may draw from:

Internal Family Systems (IFS) to explore and soften the inner critic
Attachment-based therapy to understand how early relationships shaped your self-worth
Relational therapy to notice how self-doubt shows up between us in real time
Somatic work to help your nervous system feel steadier and safer
Psychodynamic psychotherapy to explore deeper patterns
Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) to work directly with shame and core emotional experiences

Self-esteem isn’t built through positive affirmations alone.

It grows through corrective emotional experiences — moments where you feel seen, understood, and valued without having to perform.

Self-Doubt in Relationships

Low self-worth often affects how we relate to others.

You may:

Stay in relationships longer than you should
Avoid expressing needs
Fear being “too much”
Feel responsible for other people’s emotions
Constantly look for signs that someone is upset with you

Self-esteem therapy helps you build internal stability so your sense of worth isn’t constantly dependent on external validation.

What Changes Over Time

As therapy progresses, clients often notice:

The inner critic softens
Shame feels less consuming
Boundaries become clearer
Self-doubt becomes more manageable
Decisions feel less paralyzing
A growing sense of internal steadiness

Self-worth becomes less about achievement — and more about inherent value.